Death. part one

A recent death in my extended family made me realize that a lot of Muslims feel helpless on someones death, since they don't know what dua - prayer- to make or how to go about it. plus, i was prompted by my family to write something on death - what to read and matters relating to it. i am no expert and am myself trying to learn. what ever i can find i will try and post on this subject. suggestions and information are also welcome. i hope this post is helpful inshÁllah.

Islam is a way of life. The Prophet PBUH used to guide the Muslims to visit the ill. firstly the person who is ill feels that there is support for him. people who care about him/her. secondly the family who is suffering also feels the support which others may not realize is much needed. thirdly and importantly the visiting people make dua [ prayer] for the ill and for themselves. it is a reminder to pray to Allah constantly to make ease for them in this world and the hereafter. to ease the suffering of their brethren and be grateful that Allah is not testing them in this manner. it is also a time for humility and generosity - if the healthy can help the ill in any manner they should do so. by supporting financially or any other way. sometimes only a smile and few kind words are enough. helping your Muslim brothers and sisters is like giving a loan to Allah. And only He repays in the best way of all.

It is Islamic etiquette to visit a sick Muslim, to provide him moral support, and to make sure that he or she is well taken care of.

Ibn 'Abbas said: "The first visit to a sick person is sunnah, while any subsequent visit is a voluntary act (a good deed)." Abu Musa reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: "Feed the hungry, visit the sick, and free the captives."

The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: "A Muslim has six obligations to another Muslim." "What are these?" they asked. He replied: "To greet another Muslim when you meet him; to respond when he invites you; to give him your (sincerest) advice when he seeks it; to say 'may Allah have mercy upon you' when he sneezes and says ' may Allah be praised '; to visit him when he falls ill; and when he dies, to attend his funeral."

Reward for Visiting the Sick

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: "A caller from heaven calls out to the person who visits a sick person, 'You are good and your path is good. May you enter your residence in Paradise'."

Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: "Verily, Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, will say on the Day of Judgement: 'O Son of Adam! I fell ill, but you did not visit Me.' The human will ask, 'O my Sustainer! How could I visit You when You are the Sustainer of the Worlds? And how can You fall sick?' He, the Almighty, will say, 'Did you not know that such and such a servant of Mine was sick. But you did not visit him. Did you not know that, had you visited him, you would have found Me by his side? O Son of Adam! I asked you for food, but you fed Me not?' The man will say, 'O my Sustainer! How could I feed You when You are the Sustainer of the Worlds? And You are free from hunger?' He, the Almighty, will say: 'Such and such a servant of Mine asked you for food, but you refused to give him any. Did you not know that, had you fed him, you would have found it recorded here with Me? O Son of Adam! I asked you for a drink, but you did not give Me any.' The man will say, 'O my Sustainer! How could I give You a drink while You are the Sustainer of the Worlds and are free from thirst?' He, the Almighty will say, ' Such and such a servant of Mine asked you for a drink, but you did not give him any. Had you given him a drink, you would have surely found that recorded with Me."'

http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/law/fiqhussunnah/fus4_59.html

a lot of Muslims sisters especially, on the death of a family member start wailing loudly and start beating themselves up or mourn loudly. this was not the way Our Prophet PBUH had guided us.

Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar : Sad bin 'Ubada became sick and the Prophet along with 'Abdur Rahman bin 'Auf, Sad bin Abi Waqqas and 'Abdullah bin Masud visited him to enquire about his health. When he came to him, he found him surrounded by his household and he asked, "Has he died?" They said, "No, O Allah's Apostle." The Prophet wept and when the people saw the weeping of Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) they all wept. He said, "Will you listen? Allah does not punish for shedding tears, nor for the grief of the heart but he punishes or bestows His Mercy because of this." He pointed to his tongue and added, "The deceased is punished for the wailing of his relatives over him." 'Umar used to beat with a stick and throw stones and put dust over the faces (of those who used to wail over the dead). (SAHIH BUKHARI.Book #23, Hadith #391)

Narrated 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud: I visited Allah's Apostle while he was suffering from a high fever. I touched him with my hand and said, "O Allah's Apostle! You have a high fever." Allah's Apostle said, "Yes, I have as much fever as two men of you have." I said, "Is it because you will get a double reward?" Allah's Apostle said, "Yes, no Muslim is afflicted with harm because of sickness or some other inconvenience, but that Allah will remove his sins for him as a tree sheds its leaves." (SAHIH BUKHARI.Book #70, Hadith #564)


Since the topic is vast. i shall be continuing in the next post inshÁllah.

A prayer

there are alot of duas that we muslims are unaware of. it is true when one falls into distress and worry that we turn to Allah more. a few years ago the same happenned with me. i learned all the duas i could find that i thought would bring me relief and patience. started reading the quran more - tried understanding more hadith. whatever i could find.

here is one prayer that i would like to put up - for people who already dont know about it. muslim brothers and sisters - pass it on to whom you think may benefit from it. May Allah guide us and bless us with patience and a strong imaan to see us through the trials and tribulations of this life. Ameen.

"Inna lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji’oon. Allaahumma ‘jurnee fee museebatee, wakhluf lee khayrun minh "

(To Allah we belong and unto Him is our return. O Allah, recompense me for my affliction and replace it for me with something better).

Umm Salamah radi Allahu anha, the narrator of this du’a, loved her husband very much. When he died she stated, “I was firm to say the du’a, but I thought to myself, how could I get anything better than Abu Salamah? Allah answered my du’a and I married the Messenger of Allah! And he is better then Abu Salamah.”



The Virtue of asserting that We all belong to Allah, during Afflictions

There are several Ahadith that mention the rewards of admitting that the return is to Allah by saying:
[إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّـآ إِلَيْهِ رَجِعونَ]
("Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.'') when afflictions strike.

For instance, Imam Ahmad reported that Umm Salamah narrated: Once, Abu Salamah came back after he was with Allah's Messenger and said: I heard Allah's Messenger recite a statement that made me delighted. He said:

«لَا يُصِيبُ أَحَدًا مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ مُصِيبَةٌ فَيَسْتَرْجِعُ عِنْدَ مُصِيبَتِهِ ثُمَّ يقُولُ:

اللَّهُمَّ أْجُرْنِي فِي مُصِيبَتِي وأَخْلِفْ لِي خَيْرًا مِنْهَا،

إِلَّا فَعَلَ ذلِكَ بِه»

(No Muslim is struck with an affliction and then says Istirja` when the affliction strikes, and then says: `O Allah! Reward me for my loss and give me what is better than it,' but Allah will do just that.)

Umm Salamah said: So I memorized these words. When Abu Salamah died I said Istirja` and said: "O Allah! Compensate me for my loss and give me what is better than it.'' I then thought about it and said, "Who is better than Abu Salamah'' When my `Iddah (the period of time before the widow or divorced woman can remarry) finished, Allah's Messenger asked for permission to see me while I was dyeing a skin that I had. I washed my hands, gave him permission to enter and handed him a pillow, and he sat on it. He then asked me for marriage and when he finished his speech, I said, "O Messenger of Allah! It is not because I do not want you, but I am very jealous and I fear that you might experience some wrong mannerism from me for which Allah would punish me. I am old and have children.'' He said:

«أمَّا مَا ذَكَرْتِ مِنَ الْغَيْرَةِ فَسَوْفَ يُذْهِبُهَا اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ عَنْكِ، وَأَمَّا مَا ذَكَرْتِ مِنَ السِّنِّ فَقَدْ أَصَابَنِي مِثْلُ الَّذِي أَصَابَكِ، وَأَمَّا مَا ذَكَرْتِ مِنَ الْعِيَالِ فَإِنَّمَا عِيَالُكِ عِيَالِي»

(As for the jealousy that you mentioned, Allah the Exalted will remove it from you. As for your being old as you mentioned, I have suffered what you have suffered. And for your having children, they are my children too.)

She said, "I have surrendered to Allah's Messenger.'' Allah's Messenger married her and Umm Salamah said later, "Allah compensated me with who is better than Abu Salamah: Allah's Messenger .''

tafsir ibn kathir.
Muslim reported a shorter version of this Hadith.

O my mother . O my father...

Going to the global village in Dubai brings many sights and sounds. A little something from everyone around the world- to explore to see. You see the plentiful residents of the emirates and plus the tourists that flock to this busy destination.
Tired , of walking and shopping I just sat on one of the numerous benches provided. And when I sat I saw an elderly man on a wheel chair followed by some more men and women who were frail and weak , accompanied by young Arab youth who were wearing badges. Initially I found it sweet thinking that someone has brought family. But upon seeing the name tags I looked closer and realized that they are from home of the elderly. A pang of sadness engulfed me. These people were happy and well taken care of. I knew that. Yet they were not with family. That was the root of my grief. I wondered, had their family left them? Did they bother to see how their grandparents or parents are faring? I know being admitted into an elderly home doesn’t mean that they have been forsaken by their families. But there is the feeling of a certain coldness. Handing over you parent in someone elses care. You visit them once in a while. I know the Dubai government does a good job of looking after its elderly and residents. But what about the rest of the world? What happens to them?

A while back my sister was admitted for two months in the hospital and that is when some realities hit. Something I hadn’t thought of. There were a lot of old women around her. When the visiting hours came – I could hear some women calling out names. I was told that they are the names of their family members who don’t come to visit and these people have been left at the mercy of the hospital which takes care of them. this is just one case. There were several other, similar or worse.

On another bed, another old lady lay. There was a man sitting and talking. He didn’t look like family. He wasn’t. He was the family driver who would come and visit this 60+ old frail lady.

Another friend in Canada recently told me that she goes out with her husbands’ grand mother who lives nearby. Her naina is in her 70’s. Alhamdullilah her family takes care of her and looks after her. Yet there are other old people, my friend tells me-who are alone. Just longing, yearning secretly crying for family to visit them. Ask how they are doing. A kind word – a smile. Just to know yes some one is there when life’s glory has faded. Talking to strangers to make the loneliness go away.

We will all be old, frail and alone one day. How often do we hear what goes around comes around. But that is looking at it the cold way, From childhood to adulthood,We have our elders- some guiding – some rebuking. Its not always pleasant and a smooth ride. Yet we humans remember the bad and forget the good. The kisses and hugs. The secretly given sweets. The care, support and love. Everyone’s memories different I’m sure. how can we forsake them like this?
If nothing else culture and religion both teach us to take care of our elders.

A man once consulted the Prophet Muhammad about taking part in a military campaign. The Prophet asked the man if his mother was still living. When told that she was alive, the Prophet said: "(Then) stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet." (Al-Tirmidhi)

On another occasion, the Prophet said: "God has forbidden for you to be undutiful to your mothers." (Sahih Al-Bukhari) .islam emphasizes on maintaining the bonds of kinship,and also gives high regard in which women, particularly mothers, are held. The Quran, Islam's revealed text, states: "And revere the wombs that bore you, for God is ever watchful over you." (4:1)
It should be obvious that our parents deserve our utmost respect and devotion - second only to God.
The fact that God has mentioned parents in the same verse as Himself shows the extent to which we should strive in our efforts to serve the mothers and fathers who sacrificed so much for us. Doing so will help us to become better people.

In that same verse, God says: "We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him."

In other words, the debt we owe to our mothers is magnified due to the difficult nature of pregnancy - not to mention the nurturing and attention paid to us in infancy.

Another narration, or "Hadith," from the life of the Prophet Muhammad again shows us just how much we owe to our mothers.

A man once asked the Prophet to whom he should show the most kindness. The Prophet replied: "Your mother, next your mother, next your mother, and then your father." (Sunan of Abu-Dawood) In other words, we must treat our mothers in a manner befitting their exalted position - and, again, revere the wombs that bore us.

The Arabic word for womb is "rahem." Rahem is derived from the word for mercy. In Islamic tradition, one of God's 99 names is "Al-Raheem," or "the Most Merciful." There exists, therefore, a unique connection between God and the womb. Through the womb, we get a glimpse of the Almighty's qualities and attributes. It nurtures, feeds and shelters us in the early stages of life. The womb can be viewed as one manifestation of divinity in the world.

It is reported on the authority of 'Abdullah that the Apostle of Allah observed: The best of' the deeds or deed is the (observance of) prayer at its proper time and kindness to the parents.

Another fact that people forget is when they are angry they start abusing each other which usually leads to one insulting the others parents. yet again, we find guidnace in islam in the hadith that ,It is narrated on the authority of 'Abdullah b. Amr b. al-'As that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) observed: Abusing one's parents is one of the major sins. They (the hearers) said: Messenger of Allah, does a man abuse his parents too? He (the Holy Prophet) replied: Yes, one abuses the father of another man, who in turn abuses his father. One abuses his mother and he in turn abuses his (the former's) mother.

May we learn to respect and love our parents unconditionally as is their due. without thinking about their mistakes. no one is given a manual on how to be the perfect parent. we are or will be parents, grand parents one day - do you want to be forsaken?

Generosity of Allah

we have our days. some bad, some good. sometimes some days look bleak. hope is low. things just don't seem to be going right. then you read something like this and it lifts you up and lights your heart. we forget how generous our Lord is. was listening to Anwar al awlaki lectures on Paradise. this hadith just amazed me. Subhan Allah.

[taken from sahih muslim]

Abdullah b. Mas'ud reported that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: I know the last of the inhabitants of Fire to be taken out therefrom, and the last of the inhabitants of paradise to enter it. A man will come out of the Fire crawling. Then Allah, the Blessed and Exalted will say to him: Go and enter paradise. So he would come to it and it would appear to him as if it were full. He would go back and say: O my Lord! I found it full. Allah, the Blessed and Exalted, would say to him: Go and enter paradise. He would come and perceive as if it were full. He would return and say: O my Lord! I found it full. Allah would say to him: Go and enter paradise, for there is for you the like of the world and ten times like it, or for you is ten times the like of this world. He (the narrator) said. He (that man) would say: Art Thou making a fun of me? or Art Thou laughing at me. though Thou art the King? He (the narrator) said: I saw the Messenger of Allah laugh till his front teeth were visible. And it was said: That would be the lowest rank among the inhabitants of paradise. (Book #001, Hadith #0359)


It is transmitted from Abu Sa'id al-Khudri that, verily, the Messenger of Allah (may to Paradise last of all among those deserving of Paradise who are admitted to it. I would be said to him: Enter Paradise. He would say: O my Lord! how (should I enter) while the people have settled in their apartments and taken the shares (portions)? It would be said to him: Would you be pleased if there be for you like the kingdom of a king amongst the kings of the world? He would say: I am pleased my Lord. He (Allah) would say: For you is that, and like that, and like that, and like that, and that. He would say at the fifth (point): I am well pleased. My Lord. He (Allah) would say: It is for you and, ten times like it, and for you is what your self desires and your eye enjoys. He would say: I am well pleased, my Lord.(xxxii. 17). (Book #001, Hadith #0363)

this is the LOWEST RANK in paradise! ten times greater than this world! time and again we come to a point where we need help or want something that we feel we just can't get. when we have hadith like these, why don't we learn that Allah is the holder of all the bounties and all that we ask for? then why don't we ask Him? whether it be worldly things or for our hereafter. money, land , love, respect and honor. all we have to do is ask Him and yet we despair and over look HIS bounty. after all it is He WHO has created everything and He is the owner of it all.

So be not of those who Allah has said "Man (the disbeliever) does not get tired of asking good (things from Allah), but if an evil touches him, then he gives up all hope and is lost in despair"
Surah Fussilat, Chapter #41, Verse #49)

Muslim and Muslima – The Fundamentalist Couple

Part 2 - About Sex Education in United Arab Emirates Schools and Else where

Recently, the couple had heard of children getting into illegal sexual activities at schools. They had also read about the growing concern to educate children about sex in various newspapers by people advocating Sex Education for students in UAE schools and other countries.

Their concern on the matter led to the following discussion.

Muslima: have you recently read the articles concerning the need for sex education in schools in UAE and other countries? A lot of people are confused to talk and teach their children about sex. I was just thinking, I would be a little apprehensive too. I mean, keeping in mind no one in my family or school taught me about it, so it would be a little difficult teaching my children about matters relating to sex and what Islam makes lawful or not.

Muslim: I understand your concern, but do you realise that the matter has more to do with our culture than the religion? In our culture, and so many other cultures parents don’t like to discuss this topic. Considering that sex has become a menace instead of being a highly respected relationship between a man and a woman. Illegal sexual relationships are casually propagated on T.V, while we stop our children from seeing or hearing about it. Both being extremes. Our tendency to keep them away from such immorality makes every child thinks that sex is a shameful act. Children by nature are curious and may have tendencies to commit acts which give them pleasure even if they are wrong, because they don’t know the difference between the right and wrong of their action. Neither are they educated about it by us on this particular topic since we don’t consider it culturally decent enough to talk about.

Muslima: So husband, point is we indirectly should be held accountable for our children’s transgression. Since, it is us who should be discussing theright and wrong of physical relationships with our children rather than expecting schools to teach them.

Muslim: Yes, we should be held accountable for it, because we give priority to our culture in instead of our religion. See, even if you don’t give sex education to your own children nowadays there is a 99% chance that they are going to learn about it from somewhere else. This can be negative sex education too. So even if it’s culturally shameful to talk about sex, it is better for us to help our children gain knowledge about it that will be beneficial in shaping their lives.

Muslima: Yes you are right, I realize now it’s all about culture. Sometimes humans have the tendency to pick up something which seems right but it has more to do with culture, while ignoring the fact that our Religion (Islam) teaches our children about sex from an early age and it talks openly about it. When Islam already teaches our children, then why do we expect schools to teach them? Instead we should take the initiative to teach them the Quran and teachings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) because they describe every physical aspect of a man and a woman and rights and wrongs.

Muslim: yes, that’s the whole point. we are so much in to our culture that we tend to forget that Islam teaches us about abortion, complications of illegal sex, do’s and don’ts when women have menstrual cycles, It even teaches us pleasures of a legal intercourse and having children through it. Personal hygiene, supplications for legal intercourse, Islam even talks about sexual positions during the intercourse. Basically it fulfils the education on this matter that a child requires and we look for it somewhere else. If you study sex in Islam you will come to terms with every aspect of a physical relationship and its complications whether good or bad. It’s just that people have to understand that Islam does not restrict you to teach your children because Allah Himself teaches humans. So why are humans reluctant to spread the knowledge which is given by Allah Himself? Islam has taught us the need for sex education 1400 years back and all so called modern human beings haven’t come to terms with it yet. There is a need to teach our children about it and they are still trying to pass laws. When it is a very important part of a human being and all the religions of this world, I guess every religion on the face of earth teaches its followers the pros and cons of sexual relationships.

Muslima: Well having realised the importance of it all, and how much time other people waste
contemplating educating their children about sex even in this century, I won’t be wasting my time anymore. My laws were revealed 1400 years go I have no right to wait anymore. I will start teaching my kids from now on so they should know the rights and wrongs of it.

Muslim: I am happy that you would overlook culture and concentrate on the teachings of your religion. Surely religion has more to give you then the culture, which was created by humans. Humans usually come to terms with reality when it is too late, as you can see what children around us do. Turn to Allah cause he is the one who guides us all and will surely guide our children.