Romance and Islam

I have been bombarded with lots of questions from my friends since I left my past behind, everyone thinks that when you turn to religion life becomes boring… All good Muslims do is fight, say this is forbidden and that is forbidden. One of my friends asked me what is your idea of Romance since you started to take your religion seriously. I told him nothing much has changed since I chose the path I am on, its just that few changes here and there sort out everything for me…. Then I had to give him an example to make him understand few things and I thought of sharing it with you all…..

Idea of a Romantic evening 2005 – (My Past Thoughts)

Occasion: A Romantic Date
Intention: Love or ……….
Date: Girlfriend – illegal, maybe temporary
Location: The Beach
Time: 8 pm full Moon
Background music: Violin
Dinner: Italian
Drinks: Wine – intoxicates, may lead you to something which you can regret later.

Idea of a Romantic Evening 2007 plus (my future thoughts)

Occasion: A Romantic Date
Intention: Love and Respect
Date: Wife – some one legal and a person you will spend the rest of your life with
Location: the beach
Time: 8 pm Full Moon
Background music: Sound of waves – Natural sound of water is by far romantic then someone playing violin at least you get to be alone…total privacy
Dinner: Italian or Arabic does it matter when you have a beautiful someone to share your food with
Drinks: Anything Virgin- At least they will keep you in your senses

So who says a good Muslim can’t be a romantic, it’s just that the mind set changes from illegal to legal. In fact it’s more rewarding to be romantic with your wife than your girl friend. With your wife you think of a long term relationship and romance helps you grow in a relationship further, with girlfriends it’s vice versa all romance in the beginning of your relationship and later complaining about not being romantic anymore.

If you compare between my past thoughts when I was not so good Muslim and Present when I am trying to be one, you won’t find much of a difference. Whatever difference you may find will make that romantic evening even better.

Place, location, full moon, food, and ideas nothing change, what changes is rights and wrongs. I wish people stop assuming things and stop taking people on face value, behind that veil and a beard are humans as every one is.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She outran him but later after she had gained some weight, he outran her. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating. Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "One would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife" Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.

Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said, "The best of you are those who are best to their wives"

Finallay, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her "I don't like your parents." Naturally she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said, "I don't like yours either." Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.

The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years, extended to include all those she loved; this love of his continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying, "O Allah let it be Halaa."

Romance does play a very important part in a good muslims life