O my mother . O my father...

Going to the global village in Dubai brings many sights and sounds. A little something from everyone around the world- to explore to see. You see the plentiful residents of the emirates and plus the tourists that flock to this busy destination.
Tired , of walking and shopping I just sat on one of the numerous benches provided. And when I sat I saw an elderly man on a wheel chair followed by some more men and women who were frail and weak , accompanied by young Arab youth who were wearing badges. Initially I found it sweet thinking that someone has brought family. But upon seeing the name tags I looked closer and realized that they are from home of the elderly. A pang of sadness engulfed me. These people were happy and well taken care of. I knew that. Yet they were not with family. That was the root of my grief. I wondered, had their family left them? Did they bother to see how their grandparents or parents are faring? I know being admitted into an elderly home doesn’t mean that they have been forsaken by their families. But there is the feeling of a certain coldness. Handing over you parent in someone elses care. You visit them once in a while. I know the Dubai government does a good job of looking after its elderly and residents. But what about the rest of the world? What happens to them?

A while back my sister was admitted for two months in the hospital and that is when some realities hit. Something I hadn’t thought of. There were a lot of old women around her. When the visiting hours came – I could hear some women calling out names. I was told that they are the names of their family members who don’t come to visit and these people have been left at the mercy of the hospital which takes care of them. this is just one case. There were several other, similar or worse.

On another bed, another old lady lay. There was a man sitting and talking. He didn’t look like family. He wasn’t. He was the family driver who would come and visit this 60+ old frail lady.

Another friend in Canada recently told me that she goes out with her husbands’ grand mother who lives nearby. Her naina is in her 70’s. Alhamdullilah her family takes care of her and looks after her. Yet there are other old people, my friend tells me-who are alone. Just longing, yearning secretly crying for family to visit them. Ask how they are doing. A kind word – a smile. Just to know yes some one is there when life’s glory has faded. Talking to strangers to make the loneliness go away.

We will all be old, frail and alone one day. How often do we hear what goes around comes around. But that is looking at it the cold way, From childhood to adulthood,We have our elders- some guiding – some rebuking. Its not always pleasant and a smooth ride. Yet we humans remember the bad and forget the good. The kisses and hugs. The secretly given sweets. The care, support and love. Everyone’s memories different I’m sure. how can we forsake them like this?
If nothing else culture and religion both teach us to take care of our elders.

A man once consulted the Prophet Muhammad about taking part in a military campaign. The Prophet asked the man if his mother was still living. When told that she was alive, the Prophet said: "(Then) stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet." (Al-Tirmidhi)

On another occasion, the Prophet said: "God has forbidden for you to be undutiful to your mothers." (Sahih Al-Bukhari) .islam emphasizes on maintaining the bonds of kinship,and also gives high regard in which women, particularly mothers, are held. The Quran, Islam's revealed text, states: "And revere the wombs that bore you, for God is ever watchful over you." (4:1)
It should be obvious that our parents deserve our utmost respect and devotion - second only to God.
The fact that God has mentioned parents in the same verse as Himself shows the extent to which we should strive in our efforts to serve the mothers and fathers who sacrificed so much for us. Doing so will help us to become better people.

In that same verse, God says: "We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him."

In other words, the debt we owe to our mothers is magnified due to the difficult nature of pregnancy - not to mention the nurturing and attention paid to us in infancy.

Another narration, or "Hadith," from the life of the Prophet Muhammad again shows us just how much we owe to our mothers.

A man once asked the Prophet to whom he should show the most kindness. The Prophet replied: "Your mother, next your mother, next your mother, and then your father." (Sunan of Abu-Dawood) In other words, we must treat our mothers in a manner befitting their exalted position - and, again, revere the wombs that bore us.

The Arabic word for womb is "rahem." Rahem is derived from the word for mercy. In Islamic tradition, one of God's 99 names is "Al-Raheem," or "the Most Merciful." There exists, therefore, a unique connection between God and the womb. Through the womb, we get a glimpse of the Almighty's qualities and attributes. It nurtures, feeds and shelters us in the early stages of life. The womb can be viewed as one manifestation of divinity in the world.

It is reported on the authority of 'Abdullah that the Apostle of Allah observed: The best of' the deeds or deed is the (observance of) prayer at its proper time and kindness to the parents.

Another fact that people forget is when they are angry they start abusing each other which usually leads to one insulting the others parents. yet again, we find guidnace in islam in the hadith that ,It is narrated on the authority of 'Abdullah b. Amr b. al-'As that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) observed: Abusing one's parents is one of the major sins. They (the hearers) said: Messenger of Allah, does a man abuse his parents too? He (the Holy Prophet) replied: Yes, one abuses the father of another man, who in turn abuses his father. One abuses his mother and he in turn abuses his (the former's) mother.

May we learn to respect and love our parents unconditionally as is their due. without thinking about their mistakes. no one is given a manual on how to be the perfect parent. we are or will be parents, grand parents one day - do you want to be forsaken?