Muslim and Muslima – The Fundamentalist Couple

Part 2 - About Sex Education in United Arab Emirates Schools and Else where

Recently, the couple had heard of children getting into illegal sexual activities at schools. They had also read about the growing concern to educate children about sex in various newspapers by people advocating Sex Education for students in UAE schools and other countries.

Their concern on the matter led to the following discussion.

Muslima: have you recently read the articles concerning the need for sex education in schools in UAE and other countries? A lot of people are confused to talk and teach their children about sex. I was just thinking, I would be a little apprehensive too. I mean, keeping in mind no one in my family or school taught me about it, so it would be a little difficult teaching my children about matters relating to sex and what Islam makes lawful or not.

Muslim: I understand your concern, but do you realise that the matter has more to do with our culture than the religion? In our culture, and so many other cultures parents don’t like to discuss this topic. Considering that sex has become a menace instead of being a highly respected relationship between a man and a woman. Illegal sexual relationships are casually propagated on T.V, while we stop our children from seeing or hearing about it. Both being extremes. Our tendency to keep them away from such immorality makes every child thinks that sex is a shameful act. Children by nature are curious and may have tendencies to commit acts which give them pleasure even if they are wrong, because they don’t know the difference between the right and wrong of their action. Neither are they educated about it by us on this particular topic since we don’t consider it culturally decent enough to talk about.

Muslima: So husband, point is we indirectly should be held accountable for our children’s transgression. Since, it is us who should be discussing theright and wrong of physical relationships with our children rather than expecting schools to teach them.

Muslim: Yes, we should be held accountable for it, because we give priority to our culture in instead of our religion. See, even if you don’t give sex education to your own children nowadays there is a 99% chance that they are going to learn about it from somewhere else. This can be negative sex education too. So even if it’s culturally shameful to talk about sex, it is better for us to help our children gain knowledge about it that will be beneficial in shaping their lives.

Muslima: Yes you are right, I realize now it’s all about culture. Sometimes humans have the tendency to pick up something which seems right but it has more to do with culture, while ignoring the fact that our Religion (Islam) teaches our children about sex from an early age and it talks openly about it. When Islam already teaches our children, then why do we expect schools to teach them? Instead we should take the initiative to teach them the Quran and teachings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) because they describe every physical aspect of a man and a woman and rights and wrongs.

Muslim: yes, that’s the whole point. we are so much in to our culture that we tend to forget that Islam teaches us about abortion, complications of illegal sex, do’s and don’ts when women have menstrual cycles, It even teaches us pleasures of a legal intercourse and having children through it. Personal hygiene, supplications for legal intercourse, Islam even talks about sexual positions during the intercourse. Basically it fulfils the education on this matter that a child requires and we look for it somewhere else. If you study sex in Islam you will come to terms with every aspect of a physical relationship and its complications whether good or bad. It’s just that people have to understand that Islam does not restrict you to teach your children because Allah Himself teaches humans. So why are humans reluctant to spread the knowledge which is given by Allah Himself? Islam has taught us the need for sex education 1400 years back and all so called modern human beings haven’t come to terms with it yet. There is a need to teach our children about it and they are still trying to pass laws. When it is a very important part of a human being and all the religions of this world, I guess every religion on the face of earth teaches its followers the pros and cons of sexual relationships.

Muslima: Well having realised the importance of it all, and how much time other people waste
contemplating educating their children about sex even in this century, I won’t be wasting my time anymore. My laws were revealed 1400 years go I have no right to wait anymore. I will start teaching my kids from now on so they should know the rights and wrongs of it.

Muslim: I am happy that you would overlook culture and concentrate on the teachings of your religion. Surely religion has more to give you then the culture, which was created by humans. Humans usually come to terms with reality when it is too late, as you can see what children around us do. Turn to Allah cause he is the one who guides us all and will surely guide our children.

If a man is allowed to have more than one wife, then why does Islam prohibit a woman from having more than one husband?

A lot of people, including some Muslims, question the logic of allowing Muslim men to have more than one spouse while denying the same ‘right’ to women.
Let me first state emphatically, that the foundation of an Islamic society is justice and equity. Allah has created men and women as equal, but with different capabilities and different responsibilities. Men and women are different, physiologically and psychologically.

Their roles and responsibilities are different. Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical.

Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verses 22 to 24 gives the list of women with who you can not marry and it is further mentions in Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verse 24 "Also (prohibited are) women already married"

The following points enumerate the reasons why polyandry is prohibited in Islam:

1. If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can easily be identified. The father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and not the father. Islam gives tremendous importance to the identification of both parents, mother and father. Psychologists tell us that children who do not know their parents, especially their father undergo severe mental trauma and disturbances. Often they have an unhappy childhood. It is for this reason that the children of prostitutes do not have a healthy childhood. If a child born of such wedlock is admitted in school, and when the mother is asked the name of the father, she would have to give two or more names! I am aware that recent advances in science have made it possible for both the mother and father to be identified with the help of genetic testing. Thus this point which was applicable for the past may not be applicable for the present.

2. Man is more polygamous by nature as compared to a woman.

3. Biologically, it is easier for a man to perform his duties as a husband despite having several wives. A woman, in a similar position, having several husbands, will not find it possible to perform her duties as a wife. A woman undergoes several psychological and behavioral changes due to different phases of the menstrual cycle.

4. A woman who has more than one husband will have several sexual partners at the same time and has a high chance of acquiring venereal or sexually transmitted diseases which can also be transmitted back to her husband even if all of them have no extra-marital sex. This is not the case in a man having more than one wife, and none of them having extra-marital sex.

The above reasons are those that one can easily identify. There are probably many more reasons why Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has prohibited polyandry.